Twenty Fears For Twenty Years
3:58 PM
As eager as I am to grow up and start my own life, I have forever been
terrified of exiting my teenage years.
I’m terrified of being a grown up who’s tired and worried all the time. I’m a fun loving, goofy
person. I’m not afraid of
responsibilities, but I’m afraid of them sucking the life out of me. To me, twenty represents the culmination of
this anxiety in a tangible experience.
My second year of college did nothing to allay these fears.
My freshman year of college, I lived life to the
fullest. I went out, met people, tried
new things, and took a few risks until I found my niche. Last year, however, I felt myself falling
into a rut. I was consumed with building
up my GPA and resume, and less concerned with fortifying friendships and having
fun. I saw people who were partying as
immature and failures, whenever I was probably just jealous and unhappy. I saw my upcoming birthday as the impending
doom of adulthood and the end of my opportunities to have real, stupid, teenage
fun. Now that I’m looking my birthday in
the face, I’m starting to accept it as just a milestone, and not a fun sucking
black hole. To help with this, I’m
examining my worries one at a time.
1.
I’ll be old.
Okay, this one is a little ridiculous now that I’m here. Twenty is many things, but old is not
one. Who will I seem old to? People younger than me? Duh.
I’m still a fetus to my parents and most of the adult population.
2.
Responsibilities will weigh me down. Didn’t this one start in high school? Applications, bills, job interviews, and
tests that determine your future are definitely buzz kills, but I’ve spent half
my life building myself up for this. I can’t do anything to escape it anyway, so I might as well pay my taxes and
smile and pretend to not be dying inside.
3.
I won’t want to have fun. There are boring teenagers and there are fun
adults. It’s all what you choose to make
of your situation in life.
4.
One year closer to pap smears. All right there’s no way I can make this one
sound any better.
5.
Still not 21.
When all your friends have birthdays before your own, this one is very
unfortunate, but I’m thinking it can’t be much more anticlimactic than 19.
6.
I don’t have my life together. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that
no one actually does. Not even the most
organized adult. Fake it till you make
it.
7.
I lose my reduced youth prices on everything
forever. Alright this one does suck, but
hey, I survived leaving the kids menu behind at age twelve, you got this.
8.
I just don’t feel like an adult. Great! Wanted to
stay young forever anyway, right?
9.
It may no longer be socially acceptable to look
a ratchet mess when leaving your residence.
I’m all about dressing for yourself and being comfortable, but scrolling through some recent photos has convinced me this may not be all bad. Who am I kidding? Not stopping the ratchetness while still in college.
10. Adults
don’t have as much energy. So this
obviously doesn’t switch on the day of your birthday, but its common knowledge
that older people are more tired. I’m
gonna have to beg to differ though, because I’ve been in training by pulling
all nighters and functioning the next day more in recent years than ever. Bring it.
11. You
won’t understand the kids anymore. Let’s
be real, this has been a long time coming.
I kind of gave up on keeping up on trying to understand the last time I checked Disney Channel. On the other hand, our generation has grown up
with technology changes, so maybe we’ll fare better.
12. Your
parents will slowly start to cut you off.
LOL med school helps. I get an
extra decade of being a broke college kid.
But seriously, this probably sucks for some people, but I'm used to
living in my own filth and being too busy to spend money, anyway.
13. People
will start looking for you to get married and start a family. This one’s definitely weird, and a lot of
your friends are doing just that. I
don’t think anyone really has confidence in my ability to tie anyone down
though, so you may skirt by this one. Or
I can just laugh when they ask when these things are happening.
14. Santa
may be letting you go soon.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Santa wouldn’t do
that because A) I just went to see him at the north pole and B) technically I’m
still the kid if I still don’t have any.
15. Other
people will take themselves too seriously and see you as immature if you don’t
join them. Are these people I need in
your life? Get some cooler friends.
16. Everyone
is graduating and moving and starting their real lives. This is sad, but maybe I can learn from
them and live vicariously through them until I'm ready to actually act like
an adult.
17. You’re
so close to being at the bottom of the totem pole again. There’s only one way to get to the top. Everyone was there at some point. Suck it up.
18. You
have less free time. Well for starters,
let’s put the time management skills to use.
Also, how about enjoying the things that must be done instead of just
dreading them because there's no other option.
19. You’re
20 years old and you still can’t cook.
Well maybe it’s my hidden talent.
I have no idea if you actually can or not, because I just
don’t. Home ec was a struggle, but, hey, I passed.
20. Calories
will begin to catch up at some point. I do have the dietary habits of a linebacker, but I really hope this isn’t the decade that my fast metabolism goes
out the window.
So I plan to ring in my new decade with as much excitement
and vigor as if I was in Times Square on NYE.
If the last 19 years haven’t drug me down, I’m ready for ya adulthood.
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